What sort of mum are you?



			
					
	
	
	
	
	
	

	
		
			
				There's a PTA cake sale at school. What are you doing?
				
									
					
						
											
							
									

						
																					
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
													
						
						
						
															Nothing. The nanny has it under control.													
					
									

						
																					
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
													
						
						
						
															Adding the finishing touches to my homemade cake													
					
									

						
																					
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
													
						
						
						
															Nipping to the supermarket to buy a "not homemade" cake													
					
									

						
																					
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
													
						
						
						
															Setting up tables - these sales don't run themselves you know													
					
									

						
																					
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
													
						
						
						
															Hunting for loose change to buy a cake													
					
									

						
																					
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
													
						
						
						
															Cake sale? What cake sale?													
					
				
				

				
					Correct!
					Wrong!
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				Which celebrity mum do you most identify with?
				
							
									

						
																					
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
													
						
								
								
									
																	

						
						
						
															Angelina Jolie													
					
									

						
																					
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
													
						
								
								
									
																	

						
						
						
															Gwyneth Paltrow													
					
									

						
																					
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
													
						
								
								
									
																	

						
						
						
															Katie Price													
					
									

						
																					
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
													
						
								
								
									
																	

						
						
						
															Victoria Beckham													
					
									

						
																					
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
													
						
								
								
									
																	

						
						
						
															Kirstie Allsopp													
					
									

						
																					
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
													
						
								
								
									
																	

						
						
						
															Duchess of Cambridge													
					
				
				

				
					Correct!
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				What's your child's bedtime routine?
				
									
					
						
											
							
									

						
																					
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
													
						
						
						
															My child tells me when they are tired and puts themself to bed													
					
									

						
																					
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
													
						
						
						
															Bath, story, bed. Starting at 17.48													
					
									

						
																					
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
													
						
						
						
															No routine. We just go with the flow													
					
									

						
																					
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
													
						
						
						
															Bath if there's time, otherwise just a story and bed													
					
									

						
																					
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
													
						
						
						
															CBeebies bedtime story then bed													
					
									

						
																					
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
													
						
						
						
															I'm not sure. Let me ask the nanny and get back to you													
					
				
				

				
					Correct!
					Wrong!
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				You've just taken a photo of your child. Now what?
				
									
					
						
											
							
									

						
																					
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
													
						
						
						
															Marvel at the beauty staring back at you from the screen													
					
									

						
																					
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
													
						
						
						
															Facebook it													
					
									

						
																					
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
													
						
						
						
															Examine the photo for signs of retinoblastoma													
					
									

						
																					
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
													
						
						
						
															Retake it, making sure this time your kids sit up straight													
					
									

						
																					
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
													
						
						
						
															Who has time for photos?													
					
									

						
																					
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
													
						
						
						
															Use it to remind yourself what your child looks like													
					
				
				

				
					Correct!
					Wrong!
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				It's raining. What are you doing?
				
									
					
						
											
							
									

						
																					
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
													
						
						
						
															Puddle jumping													
					
									

						
																					
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
													
						
						
						
															Kitchen table crafts (I'll post photos on Facebook later)													
					
									

						
																					
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
													
						
						
						
															Catching up on housework while the kids watch TV													
					
									

						
																					
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
													
						
						
						
															Making a den with my children in the living room													
					
									

						
																					
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
													
						
						
						
															Cinema and McDonald's													
					
									

						
																					
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
													
						
						
						
															Helping your child improve their knowledge of algebra													
					
				
				

				
					Correct!
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				What's your biggest gripe with the babysitter?
				
									
					
						
											
							
									

						
																					
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
													
						
						
						
															What they feed the kids													
					
									

						
																					
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
													
						
						
						
															Babysitter? I wish...													
					
									

						
																					
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
													
						
						
						
															They are more fun than me													
					
									

						
																					
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
													
						
						
						
															They don't update me enough													
					
									

						
																					
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
													
						
						
						
															They let the kids watch TV													
					
									

						
																					
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
													
						
						
						
															The amount of money they charge													
					
				
				

				
					Correct!
					Wrong!
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				You're just about to leave for work when your child starts complaining of a sore throat. What do you do?
				
									
					
						
											
							
									

						
																					
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
													
						
						
						
															Google the symptoms of meningitis													
					
									

						
																					
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
													
						
						
						
															Make an emergency doctor's appointment													
					
									

						
																					
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
													
						
						
						
															Business as usual. A sore throat never hurt anyone													
					
									

						
																					
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
													
						
						
						
															Cancel everything. My child is sick!													
					
									

						
																					
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
													
						
						
						
															Rant on Facebook													
					
									

						
																					
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
													
						
						
						
															Send your child off to the childminder as normal, with a bottle of Calpol and instructions on how to reach you													
					
				
				

				
					Correct!
					Wrong!
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				What do you think of noisy flashing battery-operated plastic toys?
				
									
					
						
											
							
									

						
																					
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
													
						
						
						
															The kids love them, therefore so do I													
					
									

						
																					
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
													
						
						
						
															Don't they cause hyper attention sensory stimulation processing disorder or something like that?													
					
									

						
																					
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
													
						
						
						
															So long as I don't have to listen to them, I don't mind													
					
									

						
																					
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
													
						
						
						
															We had a few, but the batteries miraculously died...													
					
									

						
																					
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
													
						
						
						
															Absolutely not. Wooden toys only please.													
					
									

						
																					
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
													
						
						
						
															Oh please! My child is far too intelligent to be interested in those sorts of toys													
					
				
				

				
					Correct!
					Wrong!
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				World Book Day at school. Your child is wearing...
				
									
					
						
											
							
									

						
																					
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
													
						
						
						
															Whatever you can find in their dressing up box - Spiderman's a book character, right?													
					
									

						
																					
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
													
						
						
						
															Just a little something I've been working on for the past few weeks													
					
									

						
																					
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
													
						
						
						
															A £5 costume from Asda													
					
									

						
																					
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
													
						
						
						
															An adorable outfit that cost me a small fortune													
					
									

						
																					
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
													
						
						
						
															Their school uniform. Oops!													
					
				
				

				
					Correct!
					Wrong!
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				Your 8 year old tells you she wants to quit the netball team. How do you respond?
				
									
					
						
											
							
									

						
																					
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
													
						
						
						
															Ask the coach to promote her to team captain													
					
									

						
																					
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
													
						
						
						
															Great news. No more getting up early on Saturday morning													
					
									

						
																					
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
													
						
						
						
															Question what's happened to suddenly make your child want to quit the team													
					
									

						
																					
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
													
						
						
						
															She can quit at the end of term if she still feels the same way													
					
									

						
																					
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
													
						
						
						
															What's the problem? It's her decision													
					
									

						
																					
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
													
						
						
						
															She can quit just as soon as she has chosen a new club to join													
					
				
				

				
					Correct!
					Wrong!
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				Your child is refusing to eat their dinner. What do you do?
				
									
					
						
											
							
									

						
																					
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
													
						
						
						
															Tell them they can't leave the table until they've finished. Even if that means sitting there until midnight													
					
									

						
																					
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
													
						
						
						
															Tell them they have to eat at least 10 mouthfuls and they can leave the rest													
					
									

						
																					
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
													
						
						
						
															Offer to make them a piece of toast - anything for a quiet life													
					
									

						
																					
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
													
						
						
						
															Ask your online friends for advice													
					
									

						
																					
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
													
						
						
						
															Tell them that it's fine to leave it, but you won't be offering them anything else													
					
									

						
																					
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
													
						
						
						
															Beat yourself up over what a failure you are													
					
				
				

				
					Correct!
					Wrong!
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				You have a pile of washing to do, and the house is a mess. What do you do?
				
									
					
						
											
							
									

						
																					
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
													
						
						
						
															Sit the kids in front of cartoons all day. That will keep them quiet													
					
									

						
																					
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
													
						
						
						
															Make the kids recite their times tables while you put the laundry on. If they're going to get ahead in life, they need to be top of their class													
					
									

						
																					
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
													
						
						
						
															Take the kids to the park so you don't need to look at the mess. It can wait until tomorrow													
					
									

						
																					
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
													
						
						
						
															Ask if they want to help you sort the colours from the whites. They like helping you with chores													
					
									

						
																					
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
													
						
						
						
															Tell the kids that if they tidy the living room, you'll buy them cake (not forgetting to post on Facebook about what marvellously helpful children you have)													
					
									

						
																					
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
															
													
						
						
						
															Call the cleaner													
					
				
				

				
					Correct!
					Wrong!
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				What sort of mum are you?
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